Actress Demi Moore has revealed that she suffered a miscarriage in the early 2000s while she was in a relationship with actor Ashton Kutcher, and blamed herself for the loss.
In her candid memoir “Inside Out,” set to be released Sept. 24, the actress writes that she became pregnant soon after she started dating Kutcher in 2003, according to a report in The New York Times. Moore intended to name her baby Chaplin Ray, but about six months into the pregnancy, she lost her daughter.
According to the report, Moore “started drinking again and blamed herself for the loss.” The couple tried fertility treatments, hoping to have a baby, but Moore’s drinking became worse and she started to abuse Vicodin, an addictive prescription painkiller.
Kutcher’s spokesperson did not respond when contacted by the paper.
Moore, 56, told the Times that around 2012, a year after she had separated from Kutcher, “Part of my life was clearly unraveling.”
Moore and Kutcher were officially divorced in 2013.
“I had no career, no relationship,” she said.
Her health worsened such that simple activities such as reading or watching TV were difficult, and she suffered from autoimmune and digestive problems, according to the report.
“Something was going on, including my organs slowly shutting down,” she told the paper. “The root was a major heavy viral load.”
It was also around 2012 that Moore had a seizure after smoking synthetic cannabis and inhaling nitrous oxide while partying with her daughter, Rumer Willis. The incident caused Rumer to become estranged from her. Her other daughters, Scout and Tallulah, had also shunned her because of her issues with substance abuse, Moore said.
Over time, Moore was able to address her substance abuse via a rehabilitation program, and reconcile with her daughters. She also sought help from a doctor who specialized in integrative medicine to address her health issues, according to the Times.
Moore added that she is now sober.
She wrote in her memoir, which she began to put more energy towards two years ago, “If you carry a well of shame and unresolved trauma inside of you, no amount of money, no measure of success or celebrity, can fill it.”
She told the outlet that writing the memoir has helped in her healing journey “physically, mentally, emotionally.”
One of Moore’s daughters, Scout Willis, told the Times that Moore was “doing the internal work that she didn’t have the time to do, for a long time, because she was just in survival mode.”
“It’s challenging because she’s making this amazing effort to put out the most vulnerable moments of her life,” Scout added and expressed she was proud of her mother.
In April, Harper Collins announced the publication date of Moore’s memoir. The publishing company describes the memoir as “emotionally charged,” in which Moore “opens up about her career and personal life—laying bare her defining tumultuous relationship with her mother, her marriages, her struggles balancing stardom with motherhood, and her journey toward open heartedness.”
“Throughout her rise to fame and during some of the most pivotal moments of her life, Moore battled addiction, body image issues, and childhood trauma that would follow her for years—all while juggling a skyrocketing career, celebrity status, and raising a family,” the publishing company said in a statement.
“‘Inside Out’ is a story of survival, success, and surrender—as well as resilience: a wrenchingly honest portrayal of one woman’s at once ordinary and iconic life.”